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I was eager to find a wife, but I couldn’t have children that wouldn’t be Jewish. So, even though I wanted it and believed it could work, marriage was off the table so long as Alicia was still a gentile.

My parents liked Alicia, but not the fact that she wasn’t Jewish.

Whether or not you only date Jews is totally up to you, but non-Jews should definitely know a few things before getting into a relationship with a girl of the Hebrew faith.

23, 2009, on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. *** Soon after my bar mitzvah, just as I was discovering my interest in the opposite sex, I began to be bombarded with information about intermarriage—about how one in every two Jewish people would marry a non-Jew and how more than half of the children of those unions would not be raised Jewish.

Meanwhile, more and more of my friends were getting engaged, more and more of them started families, and I had never dated anyone for more than a few weeks. If Jewish women weren’t attracted to me, I’d go find women who were.

This was my ulterior motive when I planned a trip up to New England.

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I went to a Christmas at her family’s house and it felt less ritualistic than family’s Christmas Eve Chinese-food-and-a-movie tradition.She had a great sense of humor, a wonderful smile, and an honesty that I found refreshing.She was also unbendingly ethical, deeply scholarly, and emotionally supportive—virtues I’d always believed essential in a prospective girlfriend or wife.My father spent his entire professional life working for Jewish Federations across the country.As a child, I grew up in Conservative congregations in Georgia, New Jersey, and Minnesota, was educated in Jewish day schools from kindergarten through fifth grade, and spent most of my childhood summers at Jewish summer camps.

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